Sarcasm...One Liners...Jokes

Yes, it is true. I love sarcasm-whether it is dishing it out or taking it...here's an example...my three year old falls and scrapes his knee-my response (after I clean him up)...well, I guess we are going to have to cut it off...it only worked the first couple of times though-now he brings me his scissors and asks me to cut it off...hmmm....

Of course there are always the "one-liners"-you know those that are quick witted-yes, I have been rolling on the floor laughing on many occassion...my husband and I were talking with our neighbors-we were talking about dogs (the animal kind) and the subject about dogs sleeping in bed with people...(first, you need to know that my husband has two ex-wives-a topic for another blog). Anyway, my husband said-"I don't let dogs sleep in my bed." My response? "Well, you let your two ex-wives sleep in your bed..." Call me evil, but it was funny-even to my husband and rest assured he did get me back, but for some reason I can't remember what he said...lol.

Yes, I am blonde-I like blonde jokes...I don't get offended...I like a good joke always...know a good CLEAN one? This is a family oriented blog...share it!

Pull My Finger...

Ok, I admit it farts are funny...well, at least to the three men I live with who can't aim...

Seriously though, I mop the kids bathroom floor daily...I don't leave the seat up for my husband, so why should I expect him to put it down????

However, the whole point of this post is that...yes, farts are funny...
You know those spring loaded door stoppers? They are kid magnets-it was a matter of seconds before I said ENOUGH! Oh no, my husband says "Honey, they sound like farts-it's funny." It was a matter of hours before he said ENOUGH!

Then of course the whole "pull my finger thing"...my husband, being the trained professional he is, can fart on demand, but believe me when I say that our 6 and 3 year olds pull fingers and giggle and try to fart on demand constantly!

Yes, it is funny-I must admit that i have been rolling on the floor laughing my you know what off at the antics of my wonderful men...

Yes, my husband is one of those who will pull the covers over your head or make sure that we are driving in 30 below weather before letting one of those silent, but deadly ones go off in the car...

Here is what I don't get...why is it that the men in my life can hear a fart a mile away and say EEEEEW daddy or whoever, but they don't hear me when I say anything???? Hmmmm...

Really though, in all honesty, the men in my life bring me more joy than anything so I guess that dealing with their bodily functions is ok-after all, we all know that mine smell like roses...LOL

Sports...Beer...

Yes, I admit it...I am the sports fan in the family! Here's the conversation on Saturday...
"Mom, may we please watch cartoons?"
"No, mommy is watching football."

I'm sure you can imagine the same conversation on Sunday...then of course Monday Night...the list goes on...

Ok, I must admit that I am originally from St. Louis-I am a die hard Cardinal fan-have been since the day of conception...ok 39 years ago...win or lose I LOVE THEM!!!! If I can't see the game on tv then I watch it on the computer...unfortunately they have not done well the past several years, but hey we'll be there next year...

Here's my dilemma...really it is a bit premature...my oldest son is 6 and a heck of a ballplayer-yes, I'm biased-I'm his mother...so the joke at my house is What if (god forbid) he grows up to play for the Cubbies???????? I'm still debating....

I also love football-I am a Mizzou fan-I went there, so did my mom, uncle and grandpa...woohoo-they are finally making a name for themselves!!!!

i am also a St. Louis Rams fan-I can't say much about them right now except-they suck! It's really a good thing that St. Louis has awesome fans otherwise there would be riots....

Ok...the beer thing-yes I love it-all different kinds-it's really quite simple-I have a family to take care of so I can't just sit around getting hammered everyday...SOOOO....here's my rule-if the Cardinals, Mizzou or Rams are on, it's not too early for a beer-otherwise it's always 5 o'clock somewhere!!!!

More Facts...

OK-I admit it...I am accident prone! At least i used to be EXTREMELY accident prone, now in my late 30's not so much....well, not as much. So my husband doesn't let me near anything too dangerous...good thing right? We moved recently into a new house and the weeds in the back yard reminded me of Children of the Corn times about 1,000.
Guess what? He let me use a MACHETE to help chop down weeds! AND I didn't cut anything off! WooHoo! I am moving up in the world!!!!

The Facts...About Me...

Yes, I love the fact that I am indeed one of "those people" that goes to McDonalds or Burger King or some other fast food venue and orders a "double burger" (assuming i am that hungry) an extra large order of fries (or onion rings) and yes, I admit it a DIET coke!!!! I happen to LIKE diet coke-that is why I order it. It is in no way, shape, or form to counteract the calories. I like diet coke. Very simple. I do not buy soda at the store-we (my family) don't drink it regularly so on occassion (about once-maybe twice) a month I want a diet coke and a double cheeseburger! Do I need to lose weight? No, not really-a few pounds like the majority of us BUT I will do so by cutting down on the beer....not by eating fewer cheeseburgers!